i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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