Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
