It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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