craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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