I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
