I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Randomize
