I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
