lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
