i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
