can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
