i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize