Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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