another moral hangover. fuck.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
