Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I can't put those talents on a resume
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
