AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
