we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
