Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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