just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
