so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
