so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
