Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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