So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Can Purell be used as lube?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
