WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
