Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
