I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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