you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
