But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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