he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
