We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
