I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
