you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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