oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
