She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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