the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
