I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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