She's JV to your varsity
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize