This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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