i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
