She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
