You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize