i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
