I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Randomize
