the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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