quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
