Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
