If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
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