Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
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