We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
