Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
