I wanna bring you to show and tell
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
