C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Randomize
