Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
