Where is the hickey?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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