Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
