So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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