craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
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