I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
