Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
