Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
