I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
