My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
