Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
