I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
