can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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