We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
