I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
