Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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