I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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