I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
