i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
