just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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