I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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